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Monday, February 11, 2008

Falling in and out of love

I have been in the same relationship for 3 years (on Wednesday the 13th) but for the last year I haven't been quite happy as my significant other seems to be very critical of the person I am and the things I do.

I admit that I have put on a few pounds since I graduated High school in 2005 but does that mean that he has to pinch my slight fat rolls and tell me I need to exercise more?
And just because He doesn't like anime doesn't mean that he has to tell me how stupid he thinks is does it.

And I still haven't told him that I am wiccan because I don't want to hear how stupid he thinks it is and make fun of me every time I do a ritual or cast my runes.

I don't know what to do because I want the relationship to be over but at the same time I don't want it to end because I am afraid of what lies after the ending of this relationship. and I don't want to end the relationship but I know that is the cowards way out.

Then this weekend I met someone that made me feel special He looked at me the way my current boyfriend never has and When I told him that I was Wiccan he thought that it was cool, He loves anime, listens to all different kinds of music and he sings along to a lot of them. I have asked my boyfriend for me when he plays guitar but he flat out refuses and then makes fun of me for asking and every time I listen to something other then heavy metal he tells me I have bad taste and need to get a better taste for music because he is the only that is right.

The other looked at me like I mattered and my opinions did too, I am just so tired of feeling like I am not good enough and my boyfriend says that he is sorry when I bring up this issues but then a week later he goes back to the same old routine. and I have tried everything I can think of to make this work but I am at my wits end and running out of tears and lavender oil.

AmarisGaia

1 comment:

Unknown said...

He probably just wished he could share these interests with you. He may have felt left out.
And you definitely should have told him that you were wiccan, because a hidden feeling of dishonestly could have caused negative feelings.
I can tell from your earlier posts how sincerely you loved each other. It's a real shame.
Just my thoughts.