Out of curiosity I signed up for several of the online dating sites after my ex and I split up. And every guy who has contacted me sent off every alarm bell my body had...until now.
I am not going to reveal his name so I will call him Finn. We went on one date and there were no alarms sounding deafeningly in my ears. We laughed we had a few beers then we went back to my place. He did stay the night but nothing happened except cuddling. His arms around me and his chin resting on top of my head felt so right.
But I REFUSE to let myself go too fast. For now we enjoy talking to each other and I am looking forward to seeing him again. Maybe I will get my fairy tale romance after. all
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Thursday, June 3, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Dreaming
Dreaming that is all I seem to do these days. I dream of love, of a bright future for my daughter, of owning my own bookstore, dream of a degree.
But the time for dreaming is done. This fall I will be going back to school online seeing as two jobs and child rearing don't leave a lot of time for going to school in an actual school building. And I am working on the plans for my bookstore.
I have already come up with the concept been dreaming about it for two years now, now I need a name and alot of other things such as financial backing.
The Litha ritual is coming up soon, so I am gonna use the energy that the Goddess gives me during that circle and put it towards my plans for the future.
But the time for dreaming is done. This fall I will be going back to school online seeing as two jobs and child rearing don't leave a lot of time for going to school in an actual school building. And I am working on the plans for my bookstore.
I have already come up with the concept been dreaming about it for two years now, now I need a name and alot of other things such as financial backing.
The Litha ritual is coming up soon, so I am gonna use the energy that the Goddess gives me during that circle and put it towards my plans for the future.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Been away too long
My life has gotten seriously hectic. Working two jobs and being a full time mommy takes up a lot of time.
However, even though my life is one big whirlwind. I am learning how to stop and enjoy the little things. Like making sure I get time off for special events or for coven meetings. I realized I don't want to work my whole life away.
I want to spend time with my daughter and help her grow. I want to show her all the magic and wonder the world has to offer. And I can't do that if I let my jobs run my life. So many times I have been in the middle of spending time with my little one and then Wham! work calls and I am debating whether to go in or not. And when I say no I feel guilty because I could always use the extra money. But no more, I can always just find a way to pinch the pennies a little more just to spend time with my daughter and thats what I am gonna do.
I am also gonna try to update my blog a lot more. If not every day at least once a week.
Blessed Be
However, even though my life is one big whirlwind. I am learning how to stop and enjoy the little things. Like making sure I get time off for special events or for coven meetings. I realized I don't want to work my whole life away.
I want to spend time with my daughter and help her grow. I want to show her all the magic and wonder the world has to offer. And I can't do that if I let my jobs run my life. So many times I have been in the middle of spending time with my little one and then Wham! work calls and I am debating whether to go in or not. And when I say no I feel guilty because I could always use the extra money. But no more, I can always just find a way to pinch the pennies a little more just to spend time with my daughter and thats what I am gonna do.
I am also gonna try to update my blog a lot more. If not every day at least once a week.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Before Work....
Its my 4th day in a row working . I'm exhausted but at least I have tomorrow off, Since my Herbology and beginning Wicca homework gets posted on Sundays. Come to think of it I still haven't received a grade for mine...I hope the instructors got it. *shrugs* I'll check on it later.
Only 12 more days till we leave for Texas on vacation. I am really looking forward to it. I have never been off the East Coast so this is gonna be quite an adventure for me. I am hoping to get tons of pictures taken. I'm not gonna be able to go to Mexico with the rest of the family because I didn't get my passport card back in time. but thats okay I've decided to spend the day with Kaylea either at the pool or walking around the park. I really need this vacation. I feeling drained and just flat worn out so I am hoping time away from work and NC will help me rejuvenate and get myself centered again.
Well its time to get dressed for work...I think its gonna be a ponytail day. lol
Blessed Be
Amaris
Only 12 more days till we leave for Texas on vacation. I am really looking forward to it. I have never been off the East Coast so this is gonna be quite an adventure for me. I am hoping to get tons of pictures taken. I'm not gonna be able to go to Mexico with the rest of the family because I didn't get my passport card back in time. but thats okay I've decided to spend the day with Kaylea either at the pool or walking around the park. I really need this vacation. I feeling drained and just flat worn out so I am hoping time away from work and NC will help me rejuvenate and get myself centered again.
Well its time to get dressed for work...I think its gonna be a ponytail day. lol
Blessed Be
Sunday, February 14, 2010
The Day of Love
Today was Valentine's Day. I didn't spend it with some special guy, being wined and dined. Or getting flowers.
I spent the day with the best Valentine ever, my daughter.
We went to town and then we went to see her Grandmaw and Great Aunt. They haven't seen her in a while and I figured that would be a good Valentine's Day gift for them.
But I think the best part of the day was coming home and rocking Kaylea to sleep. I do it so many times during the day but today I stopped and looked at her while she slept. And marveled at how big she has gotten. I remember when she looked so tiny sleeping on my chest and now her whole body is as long as my torso. So instead of laying her down in her crib and doing the many things I needed/wanted to do I just layed back in the couch with her on my chest and let her sleep. Who knows how long I will be able to let her do that. or cuddle her up and cover her with kisses.
She is learning so many things now. Its like a new noise or action is put into her bank of "things I can do" on a daily basis. Just in the past week she has learned to pull herself up in her crib. She can walk when holding on to my hands and she has learned how to blow raspberries. But my favorite things are when she smiles and giggles when I come into the room, she makes a sound that sounds like she is saying "yay". And when she falls down she cries and reaches for me even if someone is already holding her. It makes me feel so important like I'm the only one who can kiss that bump or bruise and make it not hurt anymore. I want to be her hero in her non-magickal and magickal life. I want her to know that I'm always gonna be there if she needs me regardless of what she does. I am her mother and I will always love her.
Well I have rambled on long enough
Blessed Be
Amaris
I spent the day with the best Valentine ever, my daughter.
We went to town and then we went to see her Grandmaw and Great Aunt. They haven't seen her in a while and I figured that would be a good Valentine's Day gift for them.
But I think the best part of the day was coming home and rocking Kaylea to sleep. I do it so many times during the day but today I stopped and looked at her while she slept. And marveled at how big she has gotten. I remember when she looked so tiny sleeping on my chest and now her whole body is as long as my torso. So instead of laying her down in her crib and doing the many things I needed/wanted to do I just layed back in the couch with her on my chest and let her sleep. Who knows how long I will be able to let her do that. or cuddle her up and cover her with kisses.
She is learning so many things now. Its like a new noise or action is put into her bank of "things I can do" on a daily basis. Just in the past week she has learned to pull herself up in her crib. She can walk when holding on to my hands and she has learned how to blow raspberries. But my favorite things are when she smiles and giggles when I come into the room, she makes a sound that sounds like she is saying "yay". And when she falls down she cries and reaches for me even if someone is already holding her. It makes me feel so important like I'm the only one who can kiss that bump or bruise and make it not hurt anymore. I want to be her hero in her non-magickal and magickal life. I want her to know that I'm always gonna be there if she needs me regardless of what she does. I am her mother and I will always love her.
Well I have rambled on long enough
Blessed Be
Amaris
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Another Day...
Today I received some good news my God Daughter was born at 9:38am this morning.
Little Piper weighed a total of 6lbs and 10oz and was 20inches long. She is a beautiful little baby. And I am very honored to be her God Mother.
I still need to do some planning on my little girls Wiccaning. One thing I know for certain her Goddess Mother will be standing in for the part of father. Since her's isn't in the picture, and my friend Rowan will be officiating. She is a great teacher and I could think of no one better to do my baby's dedication to the Goddess and God.
It snowed again last night and as much as I hate the stuff, I stood at the door and watched it come down. It really is beautiful (as long as I don't have to be out in it) and the world looks very enchanting after its done. Its like going to bed in a hectic world and waking up in a magickal quiet land, where for once you can relax. Of course eventually it melts and the roads clear and the whole world goes back to its crazy freaking pace of rush rush rush. But for that brief time, if you sit still and just listen you can see and hear the Goddess in her winter wonderland.
Little Piper weighed a total of 6lbs and 10oz and was 20inches long. She is a beautiful little baby. And I am very honored to be her God Mother.
I still need to do some planning on my little girls Wiccaning. One thing I know for certain her Goddess Mother will be standing in for the part of father. Since her's isn't in the picture, and my friend Rowan will be officiating. She is a great teacher and I could think of no one better to do my baby's dedication to the Goddess and God.
It snowed again last night and as much as I hate the stuff, I stood at the door and watched it come down. It really is beautiful (as long as I don't have to be out in it) and the world looks very enchanting after its done. Its like going to bed in a hectic world and waking up in a magickal quiet land, where for once you can relax. Of course eventually it melts and the roads clear and the whole world goes back to its crazy freaking pace of rush rush rush. But for that brief time, if you sit still and just listen you can see and hear the Goddess in her winter wonderland.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Merry Meet!
We will be conducting a wiccaning for her very soon. Her Goddess Mother,Sally will be attending and standing in for her father. I am very blessed to have a friend like her in my life. If not for Sally I would not have found the craft until much later in life.
Right now I am attending Pagan Classes online. They are free but I am still throwing my all into them so that I can learn as much as possible
I am also a member of the Blessed Moon Coven. They are a great bunch and I am very glad that I met them. We are a learning coven and hold classes every month which makes everything a little more informal and less nerve wracking. I am glad that they accepted me into their circle and I learn so much from them everyday. I know that when I have a problem they are there.
Well that is all for now
Blessed Be
Amaris
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