Charmed Mother

Start of Something New?

2010-06-03T05:32:00.000-07:00

Out of curiosity I signed up for several of the online dating sites after my ex and I split up. And every guy who has contacted me sent off every alarm bell my body had...until now.
I am not going to reveal his name so I will call him Finn. We went on one date and there were no alarms sounding deafeningly in my ears. We laughed we had a few beers then we went back to my place. He did stay the night but nothing happened except cuddling. His arms around me and his chin resting on top of my head felt so right.
But I REFUSE to let myself go too fast. For now we enjoy talking to each other and I am looking forward to seeing him again. Maybe I will get my fairy tale romance after. all

Dreaming

2010-05-31T04:02:00.000-07:00

Dreaming that is all I seem to do these days. I dream of love, of a bright future for my daughter, of owning my own bookstore, dream of a degree.
But the time for dreaming is done. This fall I will be going back to school online seeing as two jobs and child rearing don't leave a lot of time for going to school in an actual school building. And I am working on the plans for my bookstore.
I have already come up with the concept been dreaming about it for two years now, now I need a name and alot of other things such as financial backing.
The Litha ritual is coming up soon, so I am gonna use the energy that the Goddess gives me during that circle and put it towards my plans for the future.

Been away too long

2010-05-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

My life has gotten seriously hectic. Working two jobs and being a full time mommy takes up a lot of time.
However, even though my life is one big whirlwind. I am learning how to stop and enjoy the little things. Like making sure I get time off for special events or for coven meetings. I realized I don't want to work my whole life away.
I want to spend time with my daughter and help her grow. I want to show her all the magic and wonder the world has to offer. And I can't do that if I let my jobs run my life. So many times I have been in the middle of spending time with my little one and then Wham! work calls and I am debating whether to go in or not. And when I say no I feel guilty because I could always use the extra money. But no more, I can always just find a way to pinch the pennies a little more just to spend time with my daughter and thats what I am gonna do.
I am also gonna try to update my blog a lot more. If not every day at least once a week.

Blessed Be

Before Work....

2010-02-20T05:59:00.000-08:00

Its my 4th day in a row working . I'm exhausted but at least I have tomorrow off, Since my Herbology and beginning Wicca homework gets posted on Sundays. Come to think of it I still haven't received a grade for mine...I hope the instructors got it. *shrugs* I'll check on it later.

Only 12 more days till we leave for Texas on vacation. I am really looking forward to it. I have never been off the East Coast so this is gonna be quite an adventure for me. I am hoping to get tons of pictures taken. I'm not gonna be able to go to Mexico with the rest of the family because I didn't get my passport card back in time. but thats okay I've decided to spend the day with Kaylea either at the pool or walking around the park. I really need this vacation. I feeling drained and just flat worn out so I am hoping time away from work and NC will help me rejuvenate and get myself centered again.

Well its time to get dressed for work...I think its gonna be a ponytail day. lol

Blessed Be

Amaris

The Day of Love

2010-02-14T20:53:00.000-08:00

Today was Valentine's Day. I didn't spend it with some special guy, being wined and dined. Or getting flowers.
I spent the day with the best Valentine ever, my daughter.

We went to town and then we went to see her Grandmaw and Great Aunt. They haven't seen her in a while and I figured that would be a good Valentine's Day gift for them.

But I think the best part of the day was coming home and rocking Kaylea to sleep. I do it so many times during the day but today I stopped and looked at her while she slept. And marveled at how big she has gotten. I remember when she looked so tiny sleeping on my chest and now her whole body is as long as my torso. So instead of laying her down in her crib and doing the many things I needed/wanted to do I just layed back in the couch with her on my chest and let her sleep. Who knows how long I will be able to let her do that. or cuddle her up and cover her with kisses.

She is learning so many things now. Its like a new noise or action is put into her bank of "things I can do" on a daily basis. Just in the past week she has learned to pull herself up in her crib. She can walk when holding on to my hands and she has learned how to blow raspberries. But my favorite things are when she smiles and giggles when I come into the room, she makes a sound that sounds like she is saying "yay". And when she falls down she cries and reaches for me even if someone is already holding her. It makes me feel so important like I'm the only one who can kiss that bump or bruise and make it not hurt anymore. I want to be her hero in her non-magickal and magickal life. I want her to know that I'm always gonna be there if she needs me regardless of what she does. I am her mother and I will always love her.

Well I have rambled on long enough

Blessed Be
Amaris

Another Day...

2010-02-13T18:40:00.000-08:00

Today I received some good news my God Daughter was born at 9:38am this morning.
Little Piper weighed a total of 6lbs and 10oz and was 20inches long. She is a beautiful little baby. And I am very honored to be her God Mother.

I still need to do some planning on my little girls Wiccaning. One thing I know for certain her Goddess Mother will be standing in for the part of father. Since her's isn't in the picture, and my friend Rowan will be officiating. She is a great teacher and I could think of no one better to do my baby's dedication to the Goddess and God.

It snowed again last night and as much as I hate the stuff, I stood at the door and watched it come down. It really is beautiful (as long as I don't have to be out in it) and the world looks very enchanting after its done. Its like going to bed in a hectic world and waking up in a magickal quiet land, where for once you can relax. Of course eventually it melts and the roads clear and the whole world goes back to its crazy freaking pace of rush rush rush. But for that brief time, if you sit still and just listen you can see and hear the Goddess in her winter wonderland.

Merry Meet!

2010-02-11T17:51:00.000-08:00

This use to be a blog about the random and what I use to believe difficult times in my life. Now it will be my blog about my journey as a witch and a mother. My name is AmarisGaia (that is my craft name) I am a 23 year old mother of a darling little girl. She makes believing in magick so much easier.
   We will be conducting a wiccaning for her very soon. Her Goddess Mother,Sally will be attending and standing in for her father. I am very blessed to have a friend like her in my life. If not for Sally I would not have found the craft until much later in life.
   Right now I am attending Pagan Classes online. They are free but I am still throwing my all into them so that I can learn as much as possible
   I am also a member of the Blessed Moon Coven. They are a great bunch and I am very glad that I met them. We are a learning coven and hold classes every month which makes everything a little more informal and less nerve wracking. I am glad that they accepted me into their circle and I learn so much from them everyday. I know that when I have a problem they are there.
   Well that is all for now
Blessed Be
Amaris

2008-05-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

So i have fallen in love with one of the greatest men who walks this planet. He is kind, and sweet. And the greatest part is I have known him pretty much my whole life. So he already knows all my little quirks and he accepts them, even loves me for them.
The only bad part is right now he is stationed in Alaska. He comes home in June but only for 17 days, its kind of a bummer but I am trying to keep my thoughts happy like for instance at least I get to see him for those 17 days and we are going on a romantic beach trip just the two of us. Its gonna be great. And we are both hoping that he will get transfered back here so that way he can ask my parents for my hand in marriage and then we can plan the wedding.
This is the happiest I have been in a long time and I hope this feeling never ends

I met someone really great

2008-04-10T22:33:00.000-07:00

So i was browsing myspace and i found a wiccan guy and He lives like 30 mins away. and he works in the same town that i do...
Maybe this was suppose to happen....please let this work

Falling in and out of love

2008-02-11T05:59:00.000-08:00

I have been in the same relationship for 3 years (on Wednesday the 13th) but for the last year I haven't been quite happy as my significant other seems to be very critical of the person I am and the things I do.

I admit that I have put on a few pounds since I graduated High school in 2005 but does that mean that he has to pinch my slight fat rolls and tell me I need to exercise more?
And just because He doesn't like anime doesn't mean that he has to tell me how stupid he thinks is does it.

And I still haven't told him that I am wiccan because I don't want to hear how stupid he thinks it is and make fun of me every time I do a ritual or cast my runes.

I don't know what to do because I want the relationship to be over but at the same time I don't want it to end because I am afraid of what lies after the ending of this relationship. and I don't want to end the relationship but I know that is the cowards way out.

Then this weekend I met someone that made me feel special He looked at me the way my current boyfriend never has and When I told him that I was Wiccan he thought that it was cool, He loves anime, listens to all different kinds of music and he sings along to a lot of them. I have asked my boyfriend for me when he plays guitar but he flat out refuses and then makes fun of me for asking and every time I listen to something other then heavy metal he tells me I have bad taste and need to get a better taste for music because he is the only that is right.

The other looked at me like I mattered and my opinions did too, I am just so tired of feeling like I am not good enough and my boyfriend says that he is sorry when I bring up this issues but then a week later he goes back to the same old routine. and I have tried everything I can think of to make this work but I am at my wits end and running out of tears and lavender oil.

AmarisGaia

Question?

2007-12-13T12:55:00.000-08:00

Okay so my mom has always told me that she thought that wicca was evil and that if I ever converted to it she would throw me out. However, the other day we were talking and she said that she believes in Tarot readings and Rune reading. She loves Sylvia Brown and thinks that she is a true divinator. I should her my runes and she was really excited and I told her that I was thinking about getting tarot cards as well and she was all for it. My step-dad has an aunt who does tarot readings, i have never met her and I told my mom I would like to and once again that was okay.
So my question is why is it okay for me to surround myself with Magickal people and items and even practice so of the divinations acts but its not okay for me to be a full wiccan.
I am thinking about telling her but I just don't know how to go about it without getting kicked out. I really can't afford to live on my own. Maybe I will just wait and tell her when I move out. I am acutally looking forward to living on my own and being able to set up my magickal alter and items the way I wish and practice whenever I want.
I am staying with my friend Aeitha for a whole week in January b/c her parents are going out town. so we will get to practice and do some rituals that are long over due! I can't wait.
well guys that is it for now Blessed Be and Merry Meet!

Reading Material.

2007-12-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

I just found a new book series that I think most wiccans would like. Its by Laurie Stolarz and the First is called Blue is for Nightmares. Each book follows a young wiccan Named Stacey Brown who has nightmares in which she can see the future, usually they pertain to her having to figure them out to save someone. I accidentally read the last of one in the series but I had to read the ones that came first so I went out and bought the first one.
One reason I am recommending this to Wiccans is because the author doesn't portray wiccans as sabrina the teenage witch stereotypes. The main character does her rituals just like we would and understands the laws. It is also published by Llwellyn which produces the Alamanac.
so happy reading

Narrowing it down

2007-11-30T20:59:00.000-08:00

I decided that I want to narrow the topics down on this blog, I have other blogs that discuss my everyday life, but not one that mentions my magickal life. So from now on that is what this one is going to be about.
I have finally started making some headway on my magickal stock cabinet. Its funny I have been a Wiccan for 7 years but I am just now getting to where I can keep my cabinet stocked. Mostly because when I first started I wasn't old enough to have a job, and I couldn't ask my mom for the stuff . She is a die hard christian and has made it perfectly clear that a magickal life would not be tolerated in her house.
I am just happy that even though I must keep my magickal life to myself, because I still live with my parents, I can practice and afford to buy my own supplies! :)
well thats all for tonight
Blessed Be!

Day by day

2007-11-28T12:49:00.000-08:00

Exams are coming up at school. I only have to take one...Thank goodness! My birthday is in only 8 days!! HOORAY I will be 21. I am not having the normal turning 21 party though. I am just gonna have dinner with a couple firends, my boyfriend and his family like I have for the past two years.
I am hoping that someone gets me a giftcard to bookland in our mall b/c there are so many books that I want. I can't afford all of them though because I need to buy christmas presents and pay my bills.
Registration is coming up soon. I can only take one class this semester b/c I can't afford anything else and I Financial aid denied me... I think I messed up on the form though, So I am gonna try again once, my mom files my taxes. Chris, my boyfriend, is gonna register for classes this semester too. He wants to go into computer engineering, I am happy he has found something he wants to do, but I am also afraid of what will happen when he finally chooses a university to transfer too, since he can only get an associates at our community college. I guess it will be a great time for me to find a school to get my bachelor's at. Since he will be moving, I won't feel like I am leaving him behind. I might try to go to a university in WV and see if my sister will let me stay with her until I can get an apartment or something on my own. I guess I will just have to see what comes, and take everything one day at a time.

My first post

2007-11-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

Well this is my first post on blogspot.
My name is Ashley. I am a 20 year old college student ( soon to be 21)
I have a loving caring boyfriend that I really need to spend more time with.
I love music, anything that can make me sing I usually listen to. I love love love to read, and I will read anything from manga to non-fiction.
My hamster Lemmy is my little buddy, she makes me smile when I have had a bad day.
I am trying to be a librarian, but right now I am a secretary.
I love my family and my life
I am also a practcing wiccan, my family however does not know they are christian and are close minded to the wiccan way, or any way other than christian. I have 3 friends who are kinda my students, and it feels nice to share what I know.

I am pretty open with my life, and if anyone has a question, ask me. If I don't want to answer I won't, but most of the time I will.
Blessed Be
AmarisGaia